Have you ever felt like something inside you wants to move forward, but another part of you keeps pulling back?
Maybe you have goals.
Maybe you have dreams.
Maybe you feel a quiet inner nudge toward something more meaningful.
Yet something still feels stuck.
You may tell yourself, “I should know my purpose by now.” Or, “Why can’t I just figure this out?” But what if purpose is not always something we chase? What if it is something we learn to receive?
Many people try to force purpose through pressure. They search for the perfect plan, the perfect career, or the perfect answer. But life purpose often reveals itself through small steps, honest reflection, and inner listening.
Author and coach Cheryl Richardson has long taught the importance of self-care, clarity, and honoring what is true. In The Art of Extreme Self-Care, she describes self-care as much more than bubble baths or saying no. She frames it as becoming emotionally strong, empowered, decisive, clear, and honest about who you are and what you want.
That perspective matters.
Because purpose rarely comes through self-abandonment. It often comes when we stop overriding ourselves.
Purpose Is Not Always Found. Sometimes It Is Allowed.
We often treat purpose like a hidden object.
We think we must find it, solve it, or prove it. But purpose can feel more like a relationship. It grows as we listen. It strengthens as we trust. It becomes clearer as we follow what feels honest.
This does not mean we sit back and do nothing.
It means we stop forcing answers from fear.
There is a difference between inspired action and pressured action. Inspired action feels grounded. It may still feel scary, but it has life in it. Pressured action often feels tight, urgent, and heavy.
Purpose can show up through curiosity. It can show up through grief. It can show up through frustration, longing, or repeated patterns.
Sometimes the thing that bothers you most becomes part of your work. Sometimes the wound you healed becomes wisdom for someone else. Sometimes your purpose begins with what you can no longer ignore.
The Good and Not So Good of Our Life Experiences
Every person carries a story.
Some parts of that story strengthen us. Other parts shape protective behaviors. These behaviors may have helped us survive earlier seasons. Yet later, they may limit our growth.
For example, a child who learned to keep the peace may become an adult who avoids conflict. That person may have a beautiful gift for harmony. But they may also struggle to speak up.
A child who had to be responsible too soon may become deeply capable. They may become dependable, thoughtful, and strong. But they may also struggle to receive help or rest.
A child who felt unseen may become highly intuitive. They may read a room quickly. They may sense what others need. But they may also lose touch with their own desires.
This is why I never look at patterns as “bad.” Many patterns began as protection.
The question becomes: Is this pattern still supporting you?
How Old Patterns Can Affect Life Purpose
When you start asking deeper questions, old patterns may rise.
You may feel called to share your voice, but fear judgment.
You may want to start a business, but doubt your worth.
You may long for a new path, but feel guilty for changing.
You may sense a gift within you, but feel unsafe being seen.
These blocks can look like procrastination. They can also look like perfectionism, overthinking, people-pleasing, or constant self-doubt.
At the surface, it may seem like a motivation issue.
But underneath, your subconscious mind may be trying to protect you.
This is important.
The subconscious mind does not always care about your vision board. Its job is often safety, familiarity, and survival. If your next step feels emotionally risky, your subconscious may pull you back.
Not because you are broken.
Because part of you learned that moving forward might cost you something.
The Conscious Mind and the Subconscious Mind
Your conscious mind is the part of you that sets goals. It says, “I want to write the book.” Or, “I want to help people.” Or, “I want to create a more meaningful life.”
Your subconscious mind stores memories, emotions, beliefs, habits, and protective responses.
This is why you can consciously want something and still feel blocked.
Your conscious mind may want visibility. But your subconscious may connect visibility with criticism. Your conscious mind may want success. But your subconscious may connect success with pressure, rejection, or loss.
You may not know this connection exists.
That is why deeper healing work can be so helpful.
In sessions, we do not force the mind to explain everything. We work with the subconscious through muscle testing. This helps us ask the body and subconscious what may be ready to release.
How Trapped Emotions May Contribute to Feeling Stuck
Dr. Bradley Nelson’s work with The Emotion Code®, The Body Code™, and The Belief Code® focuses on finding and releasing trapped emotions, energetic imbalances, and faulty beliefs. Discover Healing describes these methods as tools developed by Dr. Nelson to help identify trapped emotions and imbalances that may affect well-being.
In Dr. Nelson’s framework, trapped emotions are emotional energies from past experiences. These energies may come from your own life, inherited patterns, or absorbed emotions.
Dr. Nelson teaches that trapped emotions are identified individually. He also notes that each trapped emotional energy can have an impact in some way.
From an energy healing perspective, these trapped emotions may contribute to emotional patterns, physical tension, or protective behaviors.
For example:
A trapped emotion of rejection may make visibility feel unsafe.
A trapped emotion of guilt may make success feel selfish.
A trapped emotion of grief may keep the heart guarded.
A trapped emotion of fear may keep someone from taking the next step.
These patterns do not always announce themselves clearly. They often whisper through hesitation, avoidance, and inner conflict.
The Body Can Hold the Story
The body often reveals what the mind has learned to manage.
You may feel tightness in your chest when you think about being seen.
You may feel heaviness when you imagine changing careers.
You may feel a knot in your stomach when you set a boundary.
You may feel exhausted after taking one small step forward.
These responses matter.
They may not mean “stop.” They may mean, “Something in me needs care.”
The Body Code™ looks at imbalances in several areas of the body and energy system. This can include emotional, energetic, nutritional, structural, toxic, and other categories within the Body Code framework.
When we look at purpose, we cannot separate it from the whole person.
Your body, emotions, beliefs, and nervous system all come with you.
Beliefs That May Sabotage Your Next Step
The Belief Code® can help locate deeper belief systems.
These may include beliefs like:
“I am not safe being successful.”
“I will be rejected if I am seen.”
“I do not matter.”
“I have to struggle to be worthy.”
“I cannot trust myself.”
“I must take care of everyone else first.”
These beliefs may not sound logical. Yet they can still influence choices.
A belief can shape what you allow. It can shape what you expect. It can shape what you avoid.
When a belief clears, life may not change overnight. But your inner relationship with life can begin to shift. You may feel more space. You may notice new choices. You may feel less attached to old reactions.
I like to think of this as a ripple through the inner landscape.
One shift touches another. Then another. Over time, the whole system may respond.
How The Sessions I Offer Can Support This Process
In my work, I use The Emotion Code®, The Body Code™, and The Belief Code® to help locate what may be contributing to feeling stuck.
The Emotion Code® may help identify and release trapped emotions.
The Body Code™ may help explore imbalances within the body and energy system.
The Belief Code® may help locate deeper belief systems that could shape behavior, identity, and self-trust.
These sessions are gentle. They do not require you to relive every painful experience. We use muscle testing to communicate with the subconscious mind. Then we ask what is ready to be addressed.
This work does not replace medical or mental health care. It also does not promise a specific outcome. But it may support your body’s natural healing process. It may help you explore what feels heavy, blocked, or misaligned.
Many clients describe feeling lighter, clearer, or more connected to themselves after sessions.
And sometimes, that is the beginning of a new path.
Questions to Help You Understand What May Be Holding You Back
Take a few quiet moments with these questions.
-What goal keeps returning to my heart?
-What do I keep postponing?
-What feels exciting and terrifying at the same time?
-What would I try if I trusted myself more?
-Where do I feel tension when I imagine moving forward?
-What belief might be running underneath this fear?
-What pattern once protected me, but now limits me?
You do not need perfect answers.
Let the questions open a door.
A Tiny Habits Recipe for Allowing Purpose
BJ Fogg, PhD, created the Tiny Habits method and directs the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University. His approach focuses on small, realistic behavior change.
Tiny Habits also emphasizes celebration. Fogg teaches that celebration can help reinforce small changes and support lasting behavior.
Here is a simple recipe for allowing purpose to reveal itself.
Anchor: After I pour my morning coffee or tea…
New Action: I will place one hand on my heart and ask, “What is one honest next step today?”
Celebrate: Then I will celebrate by clapping my hands together and saying, “I am listening.”
That is it.
Do not turn this into a long journaling session unless you want to.
The goal is not to force an answer. The goal is to build a relationship with inner guidance.
Your answer may be simple.
Rest.
Email that person.
Take a walk.
Write one paragraph.
Clean your desk.
Say no.
Say yes.
Wait.
Purpose often speaks in small, quiet invitations.
Let Life Meet You
You do not need to have your whole life figured out.
You do not need a perfect plan before you begin.
You only need enough honesty to notice what keeps calling you. You need enough courage to take one small step. And you need enough compassion to understand why part of you may feel afraid.
Something may be holding you back.
But that “something” may not be laziness or lack of discipline.
It may be a trapped emotion.
It may be an imbalance.
It may be a belief.
It may be an old protective pattern.
It may be a part of you asking to feel safe before you grow.
When we bring compassion to those places, life can begin to open.
Purpose may not arrive as a lightning bolt. It may arrive as a nudge, a conversation, a repeating idea, or a desire you can no longer dismiss.
You do not have to force it.
You can listen.
You can heal what blocks the listening.
And one small step at a time, you can allow your life to show you the way.
XO!
Nico’l
